Who will fill their shoes?
We have officially run out of ideas. By us I mean Hollywood and by ideas I mean sitcoms from the 60s and 70s that can be dusted off and retread for the big screen.
Word out of Hollywood is that a Gilligan’s Island movie is in the works. People Magazine, among others, are wasting no time taking turns guessing at possible cast choices.
So, who should/might be in the big screen adaptation of the show that should’ve been called “Why Don’t They Kill That Gilligan Fool With a Coconut, He’s Keeping Them on That Island?” Keeping in mind that I am neither a Hollywood nor Las Vegas insider, here are my odds for who we might see pop up in this, already-can-tell-I’m-never-going-to-see movie:
Skipper: John Goodman, at 2-1 odds, is the obvious choice. Tied at a close second are Alec Baldwin (yes, he has gotten that chubby) and Brian Dennehy at 5-1.
Also in the running: Zach Gallifianakis at 10-1 and Seth Rogan (especially if Michael Cera is Gilligan) at 50-1.
Mary Ann: Who’s more down home, girl next door than Rachel McAdams? That’s right, nobody. So put her down for 3-1 odds.
Also in the running: Isla Fisher at 5-1 and Ginnifer Goodwin at 7-1. Amy Adams shouldn’t be ignored either at 20-1.
Ginger: Popwatch nails it, I think, with Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks. 2-1 odds there. But… sexy, steamy and leaning just a tad on the other side of the “past prime” date of their career? Look at Julianne Moore and Nicole Kidman in a dead heat with 3-1 odds.
Also in the running: At 50-1 odds, let’s play “pick your diva”: People Mag gives their nod to Beyonce, but I’d go a little more “seasoned” with Madonna, J-Lo, or even, urgh, Mariah Carey. I’m also putting long odds on Desperate Housewife Marcia Cross.
Professor: Why he would join this cast I don’t know, being Iron Man and all, but I’m going 4-1 on Robert Downey Jr. to play the handsome egghead, who, despite his genius, couldn’t patch a hole in a damn boat.
Also in the running: Don Cheadle at 7-1, Hugh Laurie at 12-1, Ralph Fiennes at 25-1 and dark horse Anderson Cooper (can he act? does it matter?) at 125-1.
Thurston Howell III and Lovey Howell: I’ve got to admit, I’m stumped on these two. For “The Millionaire”, it’s a toss up between Bill Murray, Liam Neeson, Anthony Hopkins and Sir Ben Kingsley (off the board odds). …And his wife… oh hell, let’s go with either Renee Zelwegger (slightly aged), or Emma Thompson.
And last but not least…
Gilligan: Sounds like show creator Sherwood Schwartz wants Micheal Cera in the lead goofball role, so let’s put him at 1.5/1 odds, not even worth the bet.
Also in the running: Ashton Kutcher. He plays goofball well, but Gilligan with a strut? Not believable. Still good enough for 25-1 odds though. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, that kid from Third Rock From the Sun, is also a good bet at 27-1 odds.
There it is, for what it’s worth. Best bet? This will be just one more on the pile of movies that I will never see.
SG
